Battle of the Binky

Quitting the Binky

(and a look into the ridiculousness that occurs in my day-to-day life)

Let me start out by saying: I wish I had known from the beginning how shockingly hard it would be to remove the influence of a seemingly innocent and unimportant Binky from my son’s life; I may as well have just started him out on crack. I’m pretty sure he was going to end up addicted to SOMETHING, considering John and I have apparently endowed our child with the very worst of both of our traits, and in this case, I’ve got a terribly addictive personality…so of course, so does Levi. Please don’t think I’m only searching for the worst in my child… he has some pretty amazing traits, too. However, it’s difficult to avoid the feelings of hypocrisy day in and day out when I want to scream when he flings a toy across the room in anger, explodes from impatience, or stubbornly refuses to change his mind about ANYTHING… because I know I am the same exact way. What other excitingly terrible traits did he pick up from mommy and daddy that we won’t find out until later? Can we even handle much more of ourselves?

All in all, it’s nice to have something to blame my random mood swings on. Before Levi, I was just a tad bit crazy. Now I have an excuse…my child makes me crazy. Sometimes, at the end of the day, I look back at the highs and lows of my day and wonder if I was slipped a mood enhancer that works in 3 hour intervals. No kidding… I think that describes me EVERY DAY. Here’s a look at my day:

Morning: Levi is just waking up and looks rumpled, slightly puffy, and SO STINKING ADORABLE that I have to fight intense psychotic urges to eat his little face off. He is typically cuddly in the morning, so as soon as I pick him up, he cuddles into my body, tucking his head under my chin and letting out a sigh of contentment. He has even started to say “thank you” when I pick him up, and OH, MY GOSH, the violent urges that ensue can’t even be written down. I then carry him downstairs, and the entire way, I can’t stop myself from saying, over and over, “Thank you Jesus! Thank you God, what an amazing gift You have given me! I am so blessed!” It is not unusual for me to get a bit misty eyed, I don’t mind admitting. What a gift from God, RIGHT?

Lunch: ….He’s still a gift from God, but this gift is DRIVING ME INSANE!! …Really, Levi, you HAD to pour your milk from your sippy cup into a toy cup, and by toy cup, I really mean the coffee table, floor, and daddy’s shoes, with MAYBE a drop making it into the toy cup? …Okay…I know you’re not actually purposely being bad, you’re just doing normal toddler experiments… WAIT! What is this?? You COLORED in Mommy’s new book?? When your coloring book is RIGHT THERE, and you had to strategically figure out a way to get Mommy’s book down from an inconveniently high shelf? (BREATH, Alicia, BREATH! He’s only two… he doesn’t really know the difference….) DID YOU REALLY JUST DUMP THAT ENTIRE PLATE OF MAC N CHEESE ALL OVER THE CARPET?? And it’s not Easy Mac, NO, it’s KRAFT Mac and Stinkin’ Hard To Make on the Stove Cheese, because Mommy LOVES you and knows you will only eat TWO things currently because you are the Pickiest Child In The World! IT’S NAP TIME!!

Happy Two Hour Land of Nap Time: Thank you God for the gift of Nap Time!

After Nap: More thoughts of thankfulness and happiness as I pick up my frumpy, puffy-eyed, poufy haired child, who toddles around dragging his blanky, looking dazed and REALLY STINKIN’ ADORABLE AGAIN. How am I so lucky to have such a cute little kid?? Aw, of COURSE you can sit on my lap while you drink your sippy cup… You want to eat off of Mommy’s plate? Of course, sweetie! Look at you, being SO SWEET! Thank you God!

Bed Time: Levi! Stop trying to tip over the TV! Seriously?? NO, you CAN’T eat DVDs! Don’t fling them away because I told you to put them down!! No… no… don’t go cry in a corner… oh, you are SUCH a drama king… why do I have such a fussy kid? Is it bed time yet? (I could go on, but by now, I’m sure you get the gist).   

Honestly, I know it sounds like I’m being pessimistic (shocking for me, I KNOW), but the good definitely outweighs the bad (and to be cliché, the good parts make putting up with the difficult parts totally worth it). I have such an amazing kid! He still can’t say very much, but what he can say makes me feel like I’m doing something right… constantly saying “thank you” for everything, “bess you” if someone sneezes, and if he sees anyone get hurt, he will immediately rush over and ask, “awight??” repeatedly until he gets an affirmative response.

Along the lines of his talking, I am hoping he will start talking more, because I LOVE every word that comes out of his mouth (although the “mo” (no) is starting to get a bit wearisome), and this is one of the main reasons we are starting to wean him from his binky. (The other is because I don’t want to attempt potty training AND binky removal at the same time. I’m not superhuman!) I know he’s stubborn and totally attached to the stupid thing, but I can’t get mad about it, because mommy and daddy are the same way… but at least in this process we can help each other work out some of the kinks and hopefully gain more patience, willingness to bend, and learn not to hold so tightly to things that we think are so important. In that light, I’d have to say that this isn’t really going to be the battle I was expecting, but a learning and growing experience, and I hope I can keep that in sight.