Throughout the years, I've learned that I can't say certain things out
loud without a direct (and sometimes shockingly immediate) backlash from fate. I've
had to learn the hard way to tamp down the desire to gloat over victories, no
matter how big or small, and instead adopt an air of indifference in the hopes
that I can trick The Universe into leaving things as they are.
For instance, a few months ago, I made an egregious error and stated
this aloud: "I learned how to properly adjust the tension on my sewing
machine finally! This will make everything so much easier now!" ...DOOMED.
<--That was the fate of my sewing project that day, and, if I recall
correctly, I had tension issues every day after, until I finally had a
breakdown and just barely stopped myself from flinging my machine out of the
window in a fit of rage. Fate, appeased, moved on, and I learned to appreciate
newfound sewing tricks with a blank face and a shrug of feigned apathy.
It is, sadly, a lesson that has had to be relearned upon having
another baby. It is HARD to have a baby and not rejoice over certain fortuitous
events. "She's sleeping four hours in a row in between feedings at night
now!" "I think she's figured out her days and nights finally!"
or "She's the most content baby I've ever seen! She's simply happy just
laying on her play mat! How easy is that?!" Suddenly, she will wake up
every half an hour, all night long. She will sleep for HOURS right before
bedtime, despite my attempts to awaken her, and then will happily stay awake
all night. And her play mat? Forget that! How DARE I assume I've figured out
something that she enjoys?
I can't even mention small victories. "I finally got her to
sleep!" is a major--MAJOR--no-no. She will erupt from her sleep in a
manner befitting a person who has been dipped in boiling lava--unearthly
screaming, flailing about, and gnashing of gums.
John, shockingly, has not learned this lesson yet, as I just found out
this past night. Maybe he hasn't been as unlucky as I. Maybe the world hasn't
beaten him into submission for things carelessly said in the past. But things
are changing...or at least he's not so lucky when in my direct vicinity.
(That's actually far more likely.)
We were driving home from visiting a family member in the hospital last
night and I mentioned how nice it was that Natalie had slept on the way to the
hospital (it's okay to mention past events, as it is too late for those to be
spoiled). John blithely stated, "Well, she's not that bad right now! I
think she's doing okay!"
I had seconds to stare incredulously at John before hellfire and
brimstone started to spew from our tiny baby's pie hole. "How could
you?" I whispered, aghast and amazed all at the same time. "Don't you
know?!"
Bewildered, John muttered about Natalie making him look like a fool,
and I had to explain to him the intricacies involved in enjoying certain things
but never allowing that happiness to physically or vocally make itself known. Hopefully
he's learned his lesson, because I can't just have him throwing about careless
statements that'll transform our child from a sleeping angel into a screaming harbinger
of doom and terror.
I'd like to think that maybe one day I'll be able to revel in good
fortune. Not today-certainly-that's way too hopeful. Even now--she has just started screaming, sensing that I'm attempting to write without interruption. Perhaps I looked too busy... to focused. I should know better. But I can still hope for the future...
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